OW

MOAR BLARGH.

Woke up this morning in aching agony for the first time since I bought myself a full-body pillow (that thing has been AWESOME, by the way. Highly recommended for anyone suffering with muscle or joint pain). I got used to not waking up in more pain than when I went to sleep. I don't like it. As I have no painkillers I thought (stupidly) that I might make it go away by releasing some endorphins in time-honoured natural fashion...

...Whoops.

Left hip's been out of place since this morning. I think it might have trapped a nerve on its way out as it hurts worse than any dislocation I've ever had before. I can't walk properly, had so much difficulty getting up to go to the toilet that I was seriously considering pissing myself. I am in ridiculous amounts of pain today and once again, have no working painkillers as they still haven't fucking legalised medicinal marijuana for me*. Got Rambo to bring me a laptop in bed and take care of me and he's mostly being wonderful but a bit earlier I accidentally let out a rather loud (yet still muffled) groan of agony. I do that sometimes. It helps to let it out and make me feel a bit better. But apparently it pisses Rambo off because he hates being reminded that I'm in pain. I got a bit 'wtf?' at that. I didn't mean for my pain to be so upsetting for him...jeez. If it upsets him that much I just won't do it anymore. *rolls eyes*

Then I cried at him. And he was all 'I didn't mean it like that...it's just that I don't like how you define yourself by your pain. It seems that all you do lately is talk about your pain.' Maybe that's because all I do is be in pain lately. It's been extra-super-duper bad for the last month or so and I thought I was doing a damn good fucking job of hiding it to be honest, but apparently I should suffer in silence more. For God's fucking sake. Fucktard.

Guys, listen closely, there's a lesson in this: DON'T FUCKING TELL PEOPLE OFF FOR ACTING LIKE THEY'RE IN PAIN WHEN THEY HAVE A DISLOCATED HIP AND CAN'T FUCKING MOVE. DICKHEADS.

Sorry for all the swearing. In case you couldn't tell, I'm in a lot of fucking pain today and not dealing with it particularly well.

*I don't give a shit if a few people abuse it. They could just as easily abuse the (much stronger) opiates they prescribe that do SHIT ALL. It's a huge fucking symptom of Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome: PAINKILLERS AND ANAESTHETICS DON'T WORK AS THEY SHOULD. Marijuana does. For every single EDSer I've talked to that's tried it. Give us some fucking legal painkillers damn you.