Bleh

I don't understand how the fuck I'm ever meant to get benefits sorted out when the very idea of wading through bureaucracy makes me burst into tears and they insist on doing everything over the phone. I cannot talk whilst I'm crying. It doesn't fucking work.

I'm so pissed off with myself right now because I've been trying to make phone calls for weeks now and every time I fucking try I end up crying before anyone even picks up the phone and then hang up as quickly as I fucking can.

I am actually, physically, SCARED of phone calls. That makes no fucking sense.

I am pathetic and I hate myself.

I NEED to get these sorted, my shortfall on rent is about £265/month at the minute and there's no way I can afford to pay other bills. I'm stretching it just buying food, and I've only been eating 1 or 2 meals a day for a long time now...

Trying to cope with low blood sugar and ridiculous tiredness and dizziness that causes probably isn't helping matters.