Useless

My house is looking sort of-not really-not by normal person standards clean! Yay? I dunno. I think it's about as clean now as it was when The Music Man moved in. It says a lot about how bad it got that I'm so pleased by this now. He's failing at being a housekeeper. Stupid boys. Who the hell thought it was a good idea to live with boys? Seriously?!

In other news - I've been so brain-dead since FFM finished that I've just slept the days away, when I've not been crying with pain. Getting quite sick of this abdominal pain now, but still haven't managed to get a doctor's appointment as they're rather shitty about it up here and insist that they can't book one in advance and I need to call at 8 o'clock in the morning to try and get one. Which I do, when I can manage to both remember and wake up in time, and then can't get through until 8:30, at which point they tell me that there are none left. This is just...ridiculous. I was barely coping with my normal level of pain and no working painkillers, add extra on top of it and I just...Jesus. I can't cope. Make it stop.

I can't laugh, I can't cry, I can't sneeze, I can't cough, I can't breathe deeply, I can't yawn...except...I can do all those things, and do do them, involuntarily. And then I spend the next five-ten minutes silently screaming*.

So, yeah. Feeling about as utterly useless and unproductive as it is possible to be right about now. Spending all my time crying and sleeping and eating. Except I'm managing to write a blog post, look! That counts as productive, right? ...Right?

Ugh.





*What, you don't understand silent screaming? Then you've obviously never had to deal with chronic pain. Lucky you.